$2 Beers on Tuesdays
My first date off a dating app (just got out of a long term relationship so I was new to the apps) was with this guy named Tom (it was Hinge, if that is helpful). We matched and messaged just a few times before he asked me out, which honestly I was fine with. I am not the best texter and I have a dry sense of humor so texting anyone I don't really know is always a little tricky because I can come off bitchy. Anyways, he asked if I was available to meet for a drink (I think it was a Tuesday..?). Well Tuesday rolls around and I still haven't heard from him, so I'm like "okay am I being stood up?", but finally at like 5 PM he said he knows "this really great place that has $2 beers on Tuesdays." Red flag number one.
Luckily, we didn't go there, instead we went to Quinn's, which is your average sports bar in Arlington. I was completely fine with this since I'm a huge sports fan.
He shows up late and housed the free bar popcorn so fast it was alarming. So we get to chatting and I quickly realize this is not gonna happen, I’m not into it. He was a one-upper, so every time I mentioned something or said something, he had done it before or better, an interesting tactic for a first date. He asked where I went to school.
“UMass Amherst.”
“That’s random being from VA, why did you go there?”
I explained that I was recruited to play a sport.
“Oh wow that's division 1!”
“Yeah it was a lot of fun,” I politely say.
Yyeah on Saturdays I play flag football with my buddies and I’m always the quarterback because I can throw really far."
Riiiigghttt, you're basically Tom Brady.
Then we got on the topic of running (another passion of mine so I was all about it).
“Have you run any races?”
“Yes, 3 marathons,” I explain.
He then proceeds to tell me about his race experience.
“I participated in a race where you have to chug a beer and run a lap and then chug a beer and run a lap, until you run a mile and you can't throw up.”
Now while all of this is happening we are watching the Caps in the hockey playoffs, my saving grace during this date. The bartender tells us they have chosen this night for their free jell-o shots, so every time the Caps scored everyone got a free jell-o shot.
Well, I took the first 2 and then realized "okay it's a Tuesday, chill out.” He took 3 and followed suit.
Somehow we got on the topic of social media, which I was happy about because I obviously tried to stalk him and find out everything I could about him and found NOTHING! It turns out it is a sensitive subject. He went OFF about the dangers of social media and how people can blackmail you and really "fuck you over.” It was alarming how upset he got over social media.
Finally I could see the light at the end of this horrible date and then the Caps game goes into overtime. So we continue to sit there, in total the date was 3 hours and the final score was 7-6 (so good thing I stopped with the jell-o shots)! Once OT ended we start putting on our coats, I'm calling myself an Uber and he starts putting the 12 or so jell-o shots that had stacked up in front of us in HIS POCKET!
I literally ask him, "what are you doing?!"
“Ohhh yeah you're right.”
He takes them out, wraps them in a napkin, and then puts them back in his coat pocket!
“I don't think you're allowed to do that, they wouldn't let you walk out of here with a beer in your hand.”
“Oh whatever, I can use them this weekend!”
I couldn't get out of there fast enough. No text or anything afterwards, until Saturday morning I got out of a workout class to "wyd." I never responded.