Layers of Coincidence
1997
I almost didn’t go to Catholic school – it’s twice as expensive for Protestants.
2005
I almost didn’t go to Bishop Ireton High School – there was no IB program.
He almost didn’t go to Bishop Ireton High School – the wrestling program was stronger elsewhere.
2006
I almost didn’t buy the nearly new textbook for my freshman year English class – there was a cheaper, more beat-up copy available.
He almost didn’t sell back that book – but finally decided to get rid of it the summer before his senior year.
2007
We almost met the one year we overlapped as students at Bishop Ireton – but my Winter Ball date decided to skip the wrestling team dinner.
2012
I almost didn’t go to the party – I hadn’t seen these friends since elementary school.
My friend almost didn’t set me up on a double date with a guy she met at the party – I had recently gotten out of a relationship and wasn’t sure I was ready.
2013
He almost didn’t go on the date – I was too young.
I almost left the date early – he wasn’t my type.
But: I was baptized Catholic two months before the start of Kindergarten. Both of our parents had a change of heart and decided Bishop Ireton was a good fit. I did buy his used textbook 7 years before we would ever meet. My Winter Ball date decided he didn’t want to introduce me to his teammates, so I never crossed paths with him in high school. I found a friend willing to come to the party with me. I decided to give dating another shot.
And, most importantly – he went on the date anyway, and I decided to stay.
2020
And seven years later, here him and I are. A collection of coincidences, near-misses, and almost rejections spanning the decades brought us to this point. The beauty of the human experience is that we are both in full control of putting ourselves out there, yet actually in control of nothing. Dating is no exception. If you look back, the life choices that led me to my forever human started in grade school. I wasn’t giving much thought to my future dating life at five years old. But fast forward to the night we met for the first time, and we both were in full control of giving the other one a shot – despite some initial hesitation.
So, what has the story of meeting my soulmate taught me? Nothing I hadn’t heard a million times before, but had never truly sunk in– be yourself, live your life, and things will fall into place. Everyday, every micro and macro choice you make has an unknown and limitless amount of impact on the trajectory of your life. Instead of getting mired down in the anxiety of that statement, isn’t it easier to let go of the desire to control? Whether it’s dating, moving cities, friendships, jobs, what have you, the illusion of control is simply that – an illusion. Where we do have control in our lives is in allowing ourselves to be opened up and exposed to unknown situations, unknown places, unknown people. Allowing ourselves to say YES. So give yourself up to the moment. Go for it. Stop overanalyzing. And hey, you never know where you might end up. But I’d bet it’ll be somewhere, or with someone, pretty good.